If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
