Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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