u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
