I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
