what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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