Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
