She is in my trunk
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
