how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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