I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
