I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
