He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
