Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
