Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
