We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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