If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i believe in u and ur pee
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
