You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
