He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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