i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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