I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
