I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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