Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
