Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
