Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
love makes seman taste better
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
