Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
