I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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