i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
