i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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