So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
