love makes seman taste better
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Houston, we have a blender
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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