The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
