tell your sister to shave her snatch
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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