i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
id be glad to
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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