i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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