ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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