I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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