no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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