pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
