This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
