had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
