Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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