I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
