I feel like abortions should bother me more
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
