maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
