just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
