so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
