Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
