My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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