"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We got so high we made milksteak
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
