doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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