Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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