why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
